Alexander: He is decidedly a sociopath. The use of ellipses in the making of plans is a form of passive aggression which is not to be tolerated.
Cecily, on Eurovision etiquette.
Cecily: Eurovision is something you take your significant other to after they have met your birth parents. Meeting the fairy god parents is one stage too far down the fag hag personality vortex than I care to fall.
To Cecily, more advice.
Alexander: My best advice is to try and get angry. Men are bastards and rage is oft the ideal combatant of sentiment.
To Cecily, advice.
Alexander: Perhaps all is not lost, my dear. Do not yet abandon hope, but be sure to arm your heart with caution and detachment, as those most sentimental among us must do.
Alexander, on a rare porpoise and a man.
Alexander: I was talking with James about how he saved one of the last ninety-seven vaquitas in the world today.
Despite the fact that I bear no romantic inclinations towards him, one must admit that a man who knows how to save a vaquita is by default attractive.
Alexander, tired.
Alexander: Should any conversation involving Red Bull ever find itself in your writings, I implore you to change its reference to espresso. Alexander merits better than high fructose corn syrup and questionable stimulants.
Two friends, on hair.
Cecily: I need a twelve hour hair protein mask and some highlights.
Alexander: Highlights are for those amongst us with a fairer complexion, and those who have had the misfortune of being named “Becky”.
Charles answers Cecily’s questions.
Charles: A lot of men are just very wary of sirens (in the mythological sense). Sirens are extremely exciting for about two weeks, but emotionally draining thereafter.
Two friends, on love á la carte.
Alexander: Would that we all could have love delivered to us via Alloresto.
Cecily: As a side to sushi. Without la douleur exquise.
Cecily, engulfed by malaise.
Cecily: Love is an unproductive feeling.
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