Delilah: According to my tutors, I’m a master of hermeneutically self-referential, overly encoded language.
arts students
Two friends, in the morning.
Cecily: I apologise for my atrocious behaviour last night. I should pray and drink a bunch of grapefruit juice for my sins.
Edward: Make it papaya juice. The drink of the creative polymath.
Sisters, on annexation.
Delilah: Tell me something. What’s a gal to do with insurmountable neuroses and twenty thousand Mongolian Tugriks?
Cecily: Is twenty thousand a large amount in set currency?
Delilah: I could probably buy… six hamsters.
Cecily: Do you want six hamsters?
Delilah: Not at the present. That comes later. After I annex Russia.
Cecily: So why do you need advice?
Delilah: This Mongolian currency is almost obsolete. By the time I annex Russia they could be dealing in tiny Serbian model aeroplanes.
Cecily: Then quick, invest in those.
Delilah, on essays.
Delilah: I have fun sometimes writing essays. It’s a gamble. Some of them pay off big time. I get some really passionate academic fans. But every once in a while, my sweary critic-despising style deeply offends someone. That someone is always a woman.
Alexander, on work.
Alexander: I just met someone who dabbles in my branch of ethically questionable academic pursuits. I am not sure if it will come to anything, but I perhaps just hacked a foothold in West Coast academic fraud.
thedailymails 