Cecily: We don’t throw shade. We throw chiaroscuro.
comedy
Alexander, on the new world order.
Alexander: I am thoroughly convinced that Apple and McDonald’s will be collaborators in the new world order.
Cecily, on life and colour coordination.
Cecily: Fall into life. For if you go gently, you may never know the joys of wearing both pink and red in a single outfit.
Christian, on Brexit.
Christian: This is why Brexit happened. A culture that cannot manage to put hot and cold water into one tap can’t possibly know how to effectively mix their people.
Two women, unmarried.
Cecily and Anastasia: I love my husband.
Two friends, on job titles.
Cecily: ‘Regulatory Intelligence Strategy Leader’ sounds like it’d go down well at dinner parties.
Santiago: It doesn’t. People get stuck at “Regulatory”. I never get to the “Intelligence” or the “Leader” part.
Cecily: Take out the “Regulatory” and put it at the end in brackets like this: “Intelligence Strategy Leader (in the regulatory space)”.
Santiago: If I am promoted, I will hire you.
Cecily: You’re already Leader. How could you get more powerful? President? King? Czar? Oligarch?
Santiago: I always loved “Shah”. Exotic tone.
Cecily: “Shah of Regulatory Intelligence Strategy” works. I’m fairly sure nobody is going to think about the Regulatory part if they get the Shah first.
Santiago: I hope they kneel instead, and salute me on top of my camel. It’s 4pm — the hour of delusion.
Cecily: Just one hour till the hour of wine!
Two friends, on escrow.
Cecily: Guess. What.
Alexander: I would not know where to begin. But, given your house hunt, might I be speaking with a woman in escrow?
Alexander, on the world wide web.
Alexander: I’m thinking of taking a break from the nonessential internet. It’s wreaking havoc with my blood pressure.
Cecily, on hemp milk.
Cecily: I’m googling hemp milk. My life is going to be so cleansed.
Alexander, on life changes.
Alexander: I have begun to eat meat again and stopped recycling; it’s doing wonders for my creative flow.
thedailymails 