Cecily: We called him Frederic for two hours before we realised that it was not his name. A twenty two year-old comedian with a provincial French accent, he slithered up to us when we were all eyes-peeled for benefactors, and poised to target men with Berlutti shoes. I use the word “slithered” a little callously. But slippery, young, money-hungry women look more like goddesses than snakes, and poor French boys looking for a little love lust can at times be scrawny and clothed in snake green. Frederic was.
fashion
Two friends, on millinery.
Cecily: Have you seen my new hat?
Jonathan: It’s a bird! It’s a bird!
Cecily, on a French man by the fountain.
Cecily: His legs were crossed and his pant leg skimmed just above his sock, exposing a little rectangle of skin. Apart from this, he was wrapped in black. It was extremity erotica. He was a geisha.
Cecily, on new shoes.
Cecily: I just acquired shoes I can wear in a forest. I haven’t had “forest shoes” for several years. Manolo Blahnik weeps for me today.
Two friends, on an impending makeover.
Arnaud: I need you to give me a makeover.
Cecily: I am extremely expensive.
Arnaud: Perfect! I am very poor.
Cecily: I think we can come up with a solution. You be my Barbie doll. Do everything and wear everything I say. Then my services are free.
Arnaud: Deal.
Cecily: Beware, I used to pull the heads off Barbie dolls and cut their hair short, and once or twice I melted them in the microwave.
Arnaud: It all depends on the second Barbie doll you intend to melt me with.
Two friends, on traffic lights.
Arnaud: You are a traffic light. If there were more traffic lights like you, road safety would dramatically increase. Cars would come to a standstill!
Cecily: If traffic lights sashayed around the streets with a complete disregard for cars, we’d all think we were living in Rome.
Two friends, on the Golden Ratio.
Vinnie: I would like to get your take on short legs and long torsos.
Cecily: With the right brain atop them both, they can be quite satisfactory.
Vinnie: Short legs and long torsos are an affront to the Fibonacci spiral.
Noah, on Cecily’s head.
Noah: Do you always wear something on your head? What does Freud have to say about that?
Cecily, on beauty.
Cecily: The aim of beauty is to keep the populace hypnotised, (hence desperate to be led to safety), by the menacing wit of Wintours and other robots, manufactured upon polished skin and cigarettes. This world, all of it imaginary, is what we like best, for it is a reincarnation of the picture books we suckled at in our youth. In a world where the wild things are real, it’s all the better to see them cloaked in glitter.
Two friends, on hands.
Christian: Your hands are spindly and alluring.
Cecily: I use them to drive Italian men wild. Yesterday, a man named Marcello bought me a salad just so he could watch my hypnotic nails for an hour. My manicures pay for themselves.
thedailymails 