Alexander: I will offer tentative solutions to all of your problems once I’m not so défoncé.
friendship
Two friends, on shirking identity.
Charles: I do not want to be Charles anymore.
Cecily: Charles has light and shade. Sometimes he’s so dryly drôle, at other times wracked with deep malaise, at other times, he simply makes dad jokes. You’re a universe. Don’t deny the world your universe. What does it matter if being Charles hurts you a little? You don’t keep long-term friendships anyway.
Jaël, on loving Cecily.
Jaël: Any man who does not love you is either too gay or too straight. Either way, they have big defects.
Two friends, on gifts.
Charles: Has my parcel arrived?
Cecily: It has not. Believe me, when it does, you will know about it. I will be so excited.
Charles: But you don’t even know what it is yet.
Cecily: I assume you only ever gift great books and letters.
Charles: Not untrue.
Two people, on wisdom.
Cecily: You look sad.
Jonathan: Yes.
Cecily: Why?
Jonathan: Because women and men are the same… It would be better if women were wiser.
Cecily: It would be better if you were in love with a wiser woman.
Two friends, on vernacular.
Vinnie: You’re gay (that’s the expression Americans use when they cannot comprehend something).
Cecily: You’re straight (that’s the expression we queens use when we know exactly how to describe somebody).
Two friends, on being home for Christmas.
Cecily: How’s the family?
Alexander: I had lunch with my father. The first twenty minutes was spent awkwardly playing with condensation on the table in silence.
Two friends, on relationships.
Cecily: I just agreed to a one hundred percent monogamous, committed relationship.
Christian: For the weekend?
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