Alexander: I helped multiple gorgeous Australian men at the boulangerie today. I don’t know how you ever left your motherland. Yours are a wonderful and lust-inspiring people.
malaise
Two friends, on escrow.
Cecily: Guess. What.
Alexander: I would not know where to begin. But, given your house hunt, might I be speaking with a woman in escrow?
Alexander, on life changes.
Alexander: I have begun to eat meat again and stopped recycling; it’s doing wonders for my creative flow.
Cecily, on job titles.
Cecily: If I told you I were a “Moment Creator” would you think me pretentious as fuck?
Rahoul, on himself.
Rahoul: I am a very convenient human being.
Two friends, on family
Cecily: My father arrives in Paris tomorrow.
Alexander: I will pray for you, to whatever agnostic force exists in the beyond.
Cecily: You need not do that. My father is lovely.
Alexander: Oh really? I thought you too suffered from a case of « batshit family ».
Cecily: I do have a batshit family, but probably not in your sense. We’re high-functioning on the bad-shit spectrum.
Alexander, on June.
Alexander: And my semi-obscure French word for June is rightfully, in my opinion anyway, “frisson”.
Cecily, on Nicolas.
Cecily: Why Nicolas, you’re looking incredibly Bogart today. You’re practically coffee stained and singed around the edges.
Inès, on Tatiana.
Inès: You just have to meet Tatiana. She’s the kind of girl that wherever she goes, she has a birdbath full of blow.
Two friends, on recourse.
Alexander: All male members of our race are DEAD TO ME.
Cecily: Your only recourse is to become a lesbian. Or a monk. Or both.
Alexander: I’ll be a lesbian insofar as I don’t have to see any tits.
thedailymails 