Cecily: I have been invited to a Franco-Algerian wedding this Spring!
Jonathan: Will there be dates?
Cecily: Sweet ones, or the kind that wear suits?
paris
Cecily, on a beautiful lover.
Cecily: His face comes directly from heaven. But, like the concept of heaven, his personality has some holes.
Charles, on one of life’s great challenges.
Charles: Don’t you love to think about things at McDonald’s? Paris is a movable feast, just like the double cheeseburger.
Two friends, on lack of sheep.
Cecily: I have no sheep in my apartment.
Charles: Where do you get your wool from? How do you stay warm in the winter?
Cecily: Harrods’ cashmere.
Charles: But do your blankets and throws offer you unconditional love and, more importantly, loyalty?
Cecily: No, but my Italian greyhound does.
Two friends, on carrots.
Cecily: My grandfather suggested carrots as a cure for insomnia, and it works for me.
Arnaud: I will try them tonight!
Cecily: To improve their efficacy, talk to the carrots while you’re cooking them, or sing. I believe they like folk.
Arnaud: They will have rock, but not The Smashing Pumpkins. That would offend them.
Cecily: I beg to differ. I think the carrots should be at war with the pumpkins. Pumpkins make a better purée and you’d better believe they make a better velouté.
Two friends, on traffic lights.
Arnaud: You are a traffic light. If there were more traffic lights like you, road safety would dramatically increase. Cars would come to a standstill!
Cecily: If traffic lights sashayed around the streets with a complete disregard for cars, we’d all think we were living in Rome.
Charles, on Cecily’s writing.
Charles: I like how eloquent you make me sound in your writings. It’s like you’re fine-tuning the noise of a piano rolling uncontrollably down a flight of stairs.
Two Italians, on a natural woman.
Nicolas: She does not look natural!
Carlo: Sometimes it is good to have women who are natural, sometimes it is better to have women who ignore the whole concept.
Two friends, on escalators.
Charles: There is something very soothing about this escalator.
Cecily: At the end of a tough day, do you go up and down it and feel like you’re in a narrow, metallic womb? And is Freud’s escalator anything like Schrödinger’s box?
Charles: Well it’s certainly a space where there is only one logical direction and no choice. I think you’d quite benefit from Freud-Shrödinger’s escalator.
Charles, on greeting cards.
Charles: Being a lawyer is a waste of my life. Honestly, I have always just wanted to design and write greeting cards. I don’t have enough wit to sustain anything else.
thedailymails 