Jonathan: Scotch-taping boxes, Scotch-taping pans and pens, and cans, and fans. Scotch-taping hats. Scotch-taping masks, and books, and sheets. Scotch-taping incense, Scotch-taping perfumes, and shampoos, and tools. Scotch-taping bottles, Scotch-taping photos, and scarves, and jewels. The flowers shall remain. I know it’s wrong, ’cause I should Scotch-tape them too.
poets
Two friends, on gifts.
Charles: Has my parcel arrived?
Cecily: It has not. Believe me, when it does, you will know about it. I will be so excited.
Charles: But you don’t even know what it is yet.
Cecily: I assume you only ever gift great books and letters.
Charles: Not untrue.
Two friends, in the morning.
Cecily: I apologise for my atrocious behaviour last night. I should pray and drink a bunch of grapefruit juice for my sins.
Edward: Make it papaya juice. The drink of the creative polymath.
thedailymails 