Cecily: Yves went to inform his music teacher that he’s staying in Paris so he can be with me forever, instead of joining the Royal Concertgebouw Orchestra.
Charles: You have a responsibility to the global art world. Just drug him and put him on the Eurostar.
Charles: Paris has given me an unshakeable malaise.
Cecily: You need a tasting flight and some fromage, tout de suite.
Cecily: The only way I can think to classify myself is sui generis. That makes me feel so alone.
Delilah: How did you celebrate this castratingly realisational passage of pointless measurement of arbitrary parameters? Did you have a snog and a whisky? Or a cabaret and a spliff? Or, dare I say it, a bottle episode?
Cecily: Bottle episode. Setting: my house. Cast: every Tinder date I’ve met over the past year. Food: fromage. Ending: catastrophic, as preordained.
Charles: Yves saying that he would choose to stay with you in Paris instead of taking a dream job in Amsterdam is classic Game Theory. His dominant strategy: lock you in. Your dominant strategy: try as many men as possible, before you settle. Those are conflicting outcomes in a zero-sum game. His best move? Increase the cost to defect. In this case, the cost is your level of guilt for keeping him here if you continue to gadabout with all the other male creatives of Paris.
Cecily: That’s a well thought-out and convincingly articulated hypothesis, my friend.
Charles: Do keep in mind that research finds Game Theory applies best to the emotionally rational, i.e. sociopaths. So you know, he may be a sociopath or he may just be truly in love with you.
Charles: What is Charles’ greatest weakness?
Cecily: His wholehearted enjoyment of his own flaws. Thus, he will always find growth difficult, if not impossible.
Charles: I hate your assessment. Be dishonest next time.
Vinnie: I would like to get your take on short legs and long torsos.
Cecily: With the right brain atop them both, they can be quite satisfactory.
Vinnie: Short legs and long torsos are an affront to the Fibonacci spiral.
Cecily: Yves just told me he may take a post in the symphony in Amsterdam. If he does, he leaves next week.
Charles: That’s a decidedly refined take on the old man-off-to-war story;”Cecily, I must serve in the orchestra in Amsterdam. I ship off tomorrow”.
Cecily: The problem is, I date like a man. And men like the company of other men. In dresses.
Jaël: Any man who does not love you is either too gay or too straight. Either way, they have big defects.
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