Carlo: You know it’s a civilisation if they cut the watermelon. We are living amongst barbarians.
relationships
Raj to Cecily, on her version of work.
Raj: All you are doing is walking down the street saying hello to people, in the mornings, in the afternoons and in the evenings. You are not a socialite. Socialites do not wave to waiters.
An uncle and a niece, on salsa.
Maurice: I do not like dancing when couples are indecently making love on stage.
Cecily: I do.
Maurice: You like to show off. For me, love is somewhere over a cliff with the stars and the moonshine and wolves howling all around.
Alexander, on a rare porpoise and a man.
Alexander: I was talking with James about how he saved one of the last ninety-seven vaquitas in the world today.
Despite the fact that I bear no romantic inclinations towards him, one must admit that a man who knows how to save a vaquita is by default attractive.
Sisters, on the parents.
Cecily: Why is mother so worried?
Delilah: Because she already thinks your choice of lifestyle is for vagrants. Now you’ve apparently lost your big strong man whom she worked so hard to mentally remasculate. Now you’ve lost your dick and you’re a vagrant. It’s their worst nightmare.
Cecily: I’m still living with my “big strong man”.
Delilah: And searching for apartments. You know how worried that makes rightwing stingy lunatics. Anyway. They’ll find any excuse to discredit your choice of career because you’ve accidentally chosen one that you enjoy. They won’t be happy until you’re stuffed in an unflattering pantsuit lecturing greasy mormons on the virtues of long-term investments. Last thing I heard them on the phone about: “She can still get an MBA.”
Cecily: Thank god I live far away.
Delilah: Well everything is right and dandy over here. Everyone thinks I’m manipulating the shit out of them. I can’t even pick up a banana without the house exploding with terrified whispers of my banana-commie plot.