Maurice: Does Count Carlo have a passion?
Cecily: He enjoys art.
Raj: And women.
Maurice: And food!
Cecily: He’s Italian.
relationships
Two friends, on stealing back hearts.
Cecily: Today I will go to Bordeaux for the very first time!
Arnaud: The woman I am in love with is there with her husband. If you see my heart somewhere around Bordeaux, pretend not to know me.
Cecily: I’ll pick it up from the floor and hide it in my purse on my way back to Paris. Like a fugitive orchid.
Arnaud: I don’t miss it. Tell it I am in Tasmania.
Cecily, on long-distance love.
Cecily: I know that when we’re together I try to cherish every moment, but when we’re apart, I count the minutes I didn’t spend touching your face.
Jonathan, to Cecily.
Jonathan: You have a resistance to alcohol which is rarely seen on our continent.
Two friends, on gifts.
Cecily: It’s so easy to find gifts for women… A small bracelet, a petite pair of earrings, a little bunch of flowers…
Carlo: A medium-sized bank account…
Alexander, on stock characters.
Alexander: I have realised recently that the vast majority of people one meets are simply stock characters in the grand scheme of life’s narrative. The only people worth holding on to are other “writers”. Nearly all of the people with whom I consort are plot devices, nothing more. So now I’m bingeing on Häagen-Dazs, drinking The Botanist out of the bottle, and watching Bridget Jones’ Diary.
Alexander, on himself.
Alexander: I am watching Annie Hall and just realised the book on which I rolled a joint is Still Life with Woodpecker. I have fallen so deeply into my own stereotype that it’s no longer funny.
Two friends, on world domination.
Arnaud: The world is mine!
Cecily: I want Paris.
Arnaud: No.
Cecily: In that case, I’ll have to seize it by force or charm. I have all of the men of Paris on my side. What do you have? The female waitstaff of your favourite café?
Two friends, waiting by the phone.
Cecily: You offended the hell out of her. Why do you think she is going to call you back?
Maurice: Because I believe in miracles.
Cecily, waltzing through the Tuileries.
Cecily: Oh just listen to the jingle-jangle of the mini Eiffel Tower key rings and see the glossy skin of the unnecessarily handsome African salesmen!
thedailymails 