Arnaud: Hell didn’t accept you. The demons were afraid.
Cecily: So I flirted with Saint Peter and he let me right into heaven.
relationships
Two friends, on a spider.
Arnaud: I have the biggest of the big spiders in my hotel room. It’s 10cm in diametre…
Cecily: Did you measure him? Maybe you can catch him in a jar and pin him behind a picture frame like a scientifically mounted butterfly.
Arnaud: I just called the hotel staff. The spider is now a crêpe.
Two friends, on millinery.
Cecily: Have you seen my new hat?
Jonathan: It’s a bird! It’s a bird!
Cecily, on Paris.
Cecily: Paris is not the city of lights, but the city of men. The streets crawl with both fine specimens of the race and skew-whiff tripod-like creatures, relentlessly parading through the streets with their cocks to the sky.
Cecily, on immorality.
Cecily: There is nothing more immoral than putting a bunny in a dryer.
Pedro, on Cecily’s potential husband.
Pedro: It would not be fair for you to have a husband. Think about all the others left without a muse for their poor souls.
Two friends, on Sir Elton.
Cecily: I’m dancing at the Elton John concert.
Arnaud: I hate you. Go to yellow brick hell.
Cecily, on summer.
Cecily: I was romantically involved with four people over the summer. I enjoyed it. It went well with the weather and the food options.
Two friends, on the virtues of wine.
Cecily: Jesus converted water into wine!
Arnaud: And did he drink it?
Two friends, on waving.
Cecily: I know exactly how to wave like the Queen!
Raj: Queen Elizabeth II is not a Vulcan.
thedailymails 