Christian: This is why Brexit happened. A culture that cannot manage to put hot and cold water into one tap can’t possibly know how to effectively mix their people.
rich kids of paris
Two women, unmarried.
Cecily and Anastasia: I love my husband.
Two friends, on job titles.
Cecily: ‘Regulatory Intelligence Strategy Leader’ sounds like it’d go down well at dinner parties.
Santiago: It doesn’t. People get stuck at “Regulatory”. I never get to the “Intelligence” or the “Leader” part.
Cecily: Take out the “Regulatory” and put it at the end in brackets like this: “Intelligence Strategy Leader (in the regulatory space)”.
Santiago: If I am promoted, I will hire you.
Cecily: You’re already Leader. How could you get more powerful? President? King? Czar? Oligarch?
Santiago: I always loved “Shah”. Exotic tone.
Cecily: “Shah of Regulatory Intelligence Strategy” works. I’m fairly sure nobody is going to think about the Regulatory part if they get the Shah first.
Santiago: I hope they kneel instead, and salute me on top of my camel. It’s 4pm — the hour of delusion.
Cecily: Just one hour till the hour of wine!
Alexander, on Australians.
Alexander: I helped multiple gorgeous Australian men at the boulangerie today. I don’t know how you ever left your motherland. Yours are a wonderful and lust-inspiring people.
Alexander, on a dream bathroom.
Alexander: Archaic French plumbing is only as irksome as you allow it to be.
Two friends, on escrow.
Cecily: Guess. What.
Alexander: I would not know where to begin. But, given your house hunt, might I be speaking with a woman in escrow?
Alexander, on the world wide web.
Alexander: I’m thinking of taking a break from the nonessential internet. It’s wreaking havoc with my blood pressure.
Alexander, about gluten free.
Alexander: I’d love to try being gluten free at some point, but during this chapter of my life, I’m quite content having an extra three kilos and a perpetual cloud of shame hanging about my head.
Cecily, on hemp milk.
Cecily: I’m googling hemp milk. My life is going to be so cleansed.
Alexander, on life changes.
Alexander: I have begun to eat meat again and stopped recycling; it’s doing wonders for my creative flow.
thedailymails 