Alexander: Your new lover looks like an off-brand, Pan-European Oscar Wilde.
rich kids of paris
Two friends, on pace.
Carlo: You walk so quickly.
Cecily: I am walking toward my future husband, and you toward old age. I understand the difference in pace.
Cecily, on QI.
Cecily: I was considering taking in a sex slave, but I don’t know how good I’d actually be at being a dominatrix. I like being lazy in the mornings, and I don’t know how prepared I’d be to get up and whip someone to do my dishes. Also, if some masked gentleman were living in a cage by my bed, I’d feel self-conscious about watching so much QI.
Maurice, on Cecily’s love life.
Maurice: I think you have so many men because one deceived you, and you’re taking vengeance on the others.
Charles, on nomenclature.
Charles: I found a kitten yesterday. He’s a mad alcoholic. I’m naming him Jameson after my other (found) cat.
Cecily: What’s your other cat’s name?
Charles: Whiskey.
Two friends, on Tinder.
Raj: I recently increased my age cap for women on Tinder to thirty-six. Before this, the deck was constantly running out of women and I had to wait half an hour to receive another set. Now, I’m yet to run out of prospective dates!
Cecily: What was your age range before!?
Raj: Eighteen to thirty-one.
Cecily: But you’re forty-three!
Raj: Over the age of thirty-one, they’re all married with children. I needed some way to filter those out efficiently. Women over thirty-one are wider, they’re heavier. I tend to find this trend is worse in the north of England. I know I’m forty-three, but have you seen what a forty-three year-old single woman looks like?
Cecily, on Saturday plans.
Cecily: I wish to smoke in a beautiful garden.
Two friends, on the country house.
Christian: I live in fear of mutant spiders hiding in my luggage and journeying back to Paris with me from my country house. I rather suspect my gardener, Monsieur Poupée breeds them. And my Dutch lesbian neighbours sell them on the satanic market in Utrecht!
Cecily: The satanic market in Utrecht is the only place I’d want your mutant spiders to be. So, I am grateful for your Dutch lesbians and their industry.
Christian: Monsieur Poupée is an odd one, isn’t he? I didn’t realise he had a key to my house until recently — it’s all a bit Agatha Christie.
Cecily: Your country home is indeed a queer place, with extra queer neighbours, and a feeling that Miss Marple is hanging about in the shadows, ready to swoop in when one of us inevitably goes rogue over too much Bordeaux and boeuf bourguignon.
Two friends, on popularity.
Raj: People who know you, talk only of you.
Cecily: It’s a burden.
Raj: Yes, for everybody else.
Cecily: Do you know how difficult it is to be so well loved and poor?
Two friends, on marriage.
Cecily: I must find someone to marry.
Jacques: This is not necessary. You do not have to write your marital status on your business card.
thedailymails 