Tinder

Two friends, on Tinder.

Arnaud: I won’t go back on Tinder. How could I say “Hi, I’m Arnaud. I see a psychiatrist and a magnetist !” ?

Cecily: Instead, tell everyone you see dead people. Way cooler. Vintage ’90s.

Two friends, on Tinder.

Raj: I recently increased my age cap for women on Tinder to thirty-six. Before this, the deck was constantly running out of women and I had to wait half an hour to receive another set. Now, I’m yet to run out of prospective dates! 

Cecily: What was your age range before!?

Raj: Eighteen to thirty-one. 

Cecily: But you’re forty-three!

Raj: Over the age of thirty-one, they’re all married with children. I needed some way to filter those out efficiently. Women over thirty-one are wider, they’re heavier. I tend to find this trend is worse in the north of England. I know I’m forty-three, but have you seen what a forty-three year-old single woman looks like? 

Yann and Cecily, on cyborgs.

Yann: While I was in Tokyo, I followed a trail that led me to robotics expert Professor Nakamura. We had a brief talk about subversive experiments led by a group of hardcore Terminator fans. He was shot by an assassin before I could get more answers.

Cecily: Are you a writer, friend?

Yann: Somehow, there is actually not much “official-ness” according to society’s standards when it comes to my ”writing skills”. In essence, I don’t have a job. Now I’m wondering whether that was the coolest or lamest way to announce the unemployment situation. 

Cecily: If you’re happy being unemployed and seeking out Japanese professors skilled in Terminator-style life discovery, then there is no uncool way to announce it.